Saturday, January 16, 2010

And here I am again...

I've have been in seclusion for a bit. School was draining, difficult, and even a little tormenting, but I have maintained my "A". One more term of accounting to go, but I am taking this term off. With my soapbox politely tucked away under the bed, I am finding reflection a somewhat bitter pill.

I am almost 40. My career path has been destroyed in the economy, my bank account uncomfortably low, and my future possibilities slowly fading away. One would think I should be depressed, but I am not.

For the last couple weeks I have been seeing someone new, someone different, someone I have been missing without thinking about it. I am seeing myself, again. It is obvious that the stress of my previous jobs took more from me then just sleep and time, they took life as well. Throw the pressure of advanced paced classes on top of that, and there was little left for anything else. Today, however, I am relaxed.

I have been reading, spending time with my Hubbie, playing with Oscar the dog and Vera the cat. I am taking public transportation to work instead of driving. I listen to the news in the morning. I have even found time for music and personal reflection. Above all things, I have been able to have phone conversations, sometimes hours long with dear friends who are far away, and family with as well.

I have changed, yes, but how much, and for how long? Is this simply a period of catching up, just to put it all back on hold the next time? I can not answer just yet, but I have a plan.

A while back, my dear friend SSG physically wrestled me to the floor and twisted my nipples until I agreed to start a blog. I am grateful for that, because now I intend to go back and read through those posts. A study in history you might say, in an attempt to find out where my head was at. A look into my own mind from outside of it. A journey back to me.

In this constructive time, I intend to come back to the blog with new items as well. Who knows, maybe the spiraling decline of the last two years was a wake up call before it's too late. We shall see!

I know I have been away, and for that you have my deepest apologies. I hope to walk back into our little group, grab a cocktail and get caught up with what I have missed. That is, of course, if you will have me back.....


T January 16, 2010 at 5:54 PM  

Welcoming you back with open arms! Missed you!!

sars January 17, 2010 at 12:35 PM  

welcome back doll... I had/have been lookin for that same person. She's there... So I'm back to school. Through my blog history I plowed..... all we can do is move forward, as long as we continue all is well

be well and continue to inspire me.

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