Sunday, January 11, 2009

Things remembered at 1:20 am

It is 1:20 am in a hospital room.  Yes, it is true I can't sleep.  Yes, it is true Jimmy is snoring too loud.  Yes, it is true we have been here for three nights.  And yes, it is true I am very ready to get back home......

Like so many moments peppered across my personal history, I am sitting here enjoying mini-flashes of the life I have led.  

Example #1:

1989, West Germany, Uncle M's house.  My friends and I were on a 4 day break, and had been drinking.  The four of us were laughing and having a good time.  We started playing a drinking game called "sevens".  It kind of goes from person to person counting.  When the number gets to a number containing 7 or a number divisible by 7 that person says "beep" and the order reverses.  If you make a mistake you have to take a shot or (if you have had too much to drink) you can take a dare.  One of my friends took a dare right away, we will call him Ken.  Ken chose a dare over the shot, since he was already in the wind (so to speak).  Dean dared Ken to go outside and come back with two potatoes.  I have no idea where the dare came from, or the story behind it, but at least it kept the game going and Ken would get some fresh air.  The night went on, and at about 5 the next morning, we realized that Ken had not returned.  We opened the front door to see him laying face down on the cobblestones, butt naked, with a potato in each hand.  We took one photo.  While we were standing there, the elderly lady from across the street hobbled over.  She bent down, picked up the potato's, put them both in her apron pocket, smacked the back of his head and then walked away.  We never found his clothes.  Ken remembers nothing of this incident, and it is still a mystery as to how he came to be resting at that location and in that position.  He still believes it to be the work of UFO's.  This moment became known as "The Great Potato Raid of 89". 

Example #2:

1991, Washington State, dorms.  I was jolted from sleep by the most heinous of sounds.  A whaling so mortifying that Zeus himself would have recoiled.  I darted to the hallway only to be accosted by another round of hideous caterwauling.  The incessant yowling had drawn others to the hallway as well.  We had discovered the source of the screeches from right next door to my room.  John and some woman both ran stark naked to the floors bathroom.  As the crowd stood in shock, I thought it best to at least get a towel for the poor woman (showering in a mens dorm.....).  I opened the door slightly and tried to yell over the argument that had begun in there.  "I have a towel for you Miss".  Then the line that answered everyones question.  "Who the hell mistakes Ben-gay and KY???"  My work there was done. 


Frita January 11, 2009 at 2:40 AM  

Hey there... I don't know how I missed this. Wow, I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this. I used to work in a GI clinic and saw lots of this come through. Oh, I hope you get out of there soon and Jimmy is better. Is it a definite blockage? Has there been any surgery?
What a crazy few weeks you've had...
Hugs to you all!

Living on the Spit January 11, 2009 at 3:45 AM  

I am praying for a discharge very soon for Jimmy! I hope he is feeling better.

I loved your two funny always strikes me as odd that during the worst of situations we remember the funniest things in our past.

***Telling on self, although that wasn't me at Washington State, I have been in that situation before and it WAS not fun at all.

Love you both,

Hung White Male's Woman

belladella January 11, 2009 at 3:59 AM  

Poor Jimmy. Send him my love and tell him to get better. Tell him :)

I've spent many, many hours in the hospital room with my mom. You do tend to have some very random thoughts. Those two of yours are hilarious.

Sending lots of love your way...

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. January 11, 2009 at 4:55 AM  

Funny,funny,funny! Brings back some memories!

Any idea when you guys are getting out?

random thougths January 11, 2009 at 5:46 AM  

Wishing you guys the best... after reading those memories, I am wondering...WHO is taking the pain meds? Good

(Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl January 11, 2009 at 7:05 AM  

Ok, that drinking game in #1 confused me and I'm sober. Kind of. Who does math when they're drinking? Only smarties like you.

#2-THANK YOU so much for that towel that night! I never knew who that was and ALWAYS wanted to thank them.

(We should have eaten later. Too bad the carb comas don't last forever. Call me today and let me know how our boy is. I can come over tonight again if need be! xoxo!)

The Incredible Woody January 11, 2009 at 1:03 PM  

Sorry you are stuck in the hospital - hope Jimmy gets well soon!

Those stories were an absolute riot. Thanks - I needed that on this dreary Sunday afternoon!

Jason, as himself January 11, 2009 at 3:49 PM  

Oooooo, these are great stories!

Suz Broughton January 13, 2009 at 11:26 PM  

Story #1? Picture please! Bawhahaha!

Lys January 19, 2009 at 6:35 PM  

I am crying over here... Both of those stories are classic!! Bengay and KY???? OY VEY!

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