Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Don't get me wrong, I do love him....

I am a strong person.  I know this.  I do however have two flaws.  I am immune to Kryptonite, however, there are ways to wound me.

1)  Chewing Ice Cubes!  This act causes me physical pain.  I do not know why.  I simply link it to the issue some people have with finger nails on a chalk board.  I rarely run into this problem outside in the world, but I am forced to suffer its affects daily.  Jimmy and I have been together working on our 18th year and he MOST DEFINITELY IS QUITE AWARE OF THIS ISSUE, yet he chooses to torture me for no apparent reason.  In fact, he has a magical glass that provides an endless supply of ice cube to masticate!  He then awaits my irritable exit from the room.  Shortly after that, he follows me around the house, gnashing each ice cube a sum total of four hundred seventy two thousand, nine hundred sixty two times!  "What (crunch, crunch) is (crunch) the (crunch, crunch, crunch) problem?"  Why (crunch) are (crunch, crunch) you leaving?"  Argggggghhhh!!!  Don't get me wrong, I do love him, but there are times I wish he had no teeth!

2)  Silverware screeching across plates or teeth!  Why, oh why on Mother Natures Green Earth do people feel the need to bite down wholeheartedly upon the silverware and then pull it through their locked in teeth!  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT EAT YOUR SILVERWARE!  Also, these same caring and thoughtful individuals feel the need to use a knife to cut pudding.  They stab savagely with a fork and then drag a knife the equivalent of six miles across their plate.  WHY?  TELL ME WHY?????  Why on earth does it take more pounds per square inch to cut mashed potatoes then your car tires need?  Ack, and yes, Jimmy loves to torment me with this one as well.

So, what brought on this post?  For the last hour, either a knife has been schreeeeeeking across a plate or a thousand ice cubes have gone to their death.  He must want me dead.

Question to self....."Obsess much Predo?"

Breathe deep.


Living on the Spit February 24, 2009 at 5:13 PM  

Without the pet peeves, it wouldn't be called a relationship...

only two of them? Feel yourself blessed.

You are a dear sweet soul and you can vent anytime.

The Incredible Woody February 24, 2009 at 5:50 PM  

I'm with ya' on the ice cube thing!

Lys February 24, 2009 at 6:39 PM  

Take a breath - long and slow. Then back up, roll those eyes and breathe again. If that doesn't work -then tell me where to send the Calgon because, hon, you need a little "get-a-way"

Jason, as himself February 24, 2009 at 8:09 PM  

This is great. First, I love that Jimmy chases you around chonking on his ice, just to tease you.

This paints such a classic picture of two people that have been together for a long time. And still love each other, inspite of their annoying habits.

belladella February 25, 2009 at 8:54 AM  

I've always heard that when people crunch on ice that it is a sign of sexual frustration. Hmmm?

Big Hair Envy February 25, 2009 at 11:22 AM  

I think you need a nice hot bath, and a bottle of wine ;)

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