Hey, that's mine!

So, it was 1990, the year house music took over my life, and the bootaaaay 

started shaken!!!  I was in Germany, running around Europe every chance 

I got!  It was like candy, the dance clubs called to me!  I was addicted and 

would dance for hours on end.  It was common practice to enter a club in the 

afternoon, dance incessantly, and come out the next day to the morning sun!!!  

I did not date, and did not drink much, just danced and danced and danced 

and danced……

 

It was then that my favorite band in the whole entire world, Depeche Mode, 

hit the dance floor full throttle -

I was on fire!  From city to city, club to club!  Then one particular night, I was

 lost in Frankfurt, with no clue where my car was parked when I walked by 

“Club Negative”.  I heard “Disintegration” by the Cure and when I turned to 

look inside, this woman grabbed me and dragged me inside.  We started 

dancing and did so for hours.  Her friends  kept bringing me drinks (which 

of course I could not turn down) and we laughed and danced, and danced 

and laughed…..Ahhh, Europe!  Her name was Anya, and she was drunk.  

She would get closer and closer to me while dancing, and of course I would 

turn and spin my poofy a$$ away as fast as possible.  She stopped the 

onslaught, and kept her crotch outside of arms length, so I assumed she 

figured me out.  So, after too much dancing, too much sweating, and too 

much booze, I decided to go and look for my car.  I walked out the door, 

turned left, smacked right into a wall and then down on my keaster!  Anya, 

laughing her bootay off, walked out to get me, and tripped on her heels 

falling right on top of me!  Her friend, Cadja had been right behind her and 

took third place in the fall of the evening.  So, the three of us, drunk, sweaty 

and exhausted laid there a moment.  They then told me I needed to stay at 

their place until I wasn’t so drunk.  I was obviously not of sound mind at 

this point, and it was very cold on my sweaty body.  Since I did not even know 

where my car was, I accepted.

 

Back at Anya and Cadja’s “flat”, I was given the couch.  Of course, we had 

another drink before crashing.  Anya and Cadja shared a bedroom, each 

with a separate single sized bed.  To get to the bathroom, you had to walk 

between the two beds.  After they were asleep, I did not want to wake them,

so even though I had to pee, I held it.  Maybe not the best idea when drunk.  

Now, as some of you may know, when a man goes to sleep, and then has 

to pee, something happens that is termed as “Morning Wood”.  Needless to 

say, as I slept there, this phenomenon was occurring.  I was oblivious and 

passed out, but this caught the attention of Cadja, who felt the need to take 

a closer look! 

 

I awoke with Cadja’s firm grip on my special friend (over my loose cotton 

trouser pants), and jumped about 30 feet in the air screaming like a school 

girl!  She of course let out a hideous squeal that woke up Anja, whom in turn 

squealed as well!  Before my feet hit the floor I had grabbed my jacket (still 

screaming), and ran out the door, down the stairs and outside.  I actually 

found my car less the a block away!  I was in shock and sat there for about 

20 minutes reliving the assault to my member!  I felt dirty, cheap, and 

embarrassed!  She was the first and last woman to actually touch my 

Pee-Bug that wasn’t a doctor! 

 

About a month later, I ran into them at another club in Frankfurt, they 

apologized and we became fast friends.  They taught me "Club Slang" 

and helped me with my German.  We became fast friends, and she kept 

trying to "set me up" with her male cousin!  I was not interested in anything

but dancing.  However, after all was said and done, she did say she was 

quite impressed that night!!!  But of course she was…….(such an ego 

booster she was.....)