Monday, March 16, 2009

Strange news today..

These two news stories caught my attention today as a little representation for the state of our country today!

First, a guy "bolts" antlers onto a dead doe carcass......

BURLINGTON, Vt. – A man who bolted antlers to the head of a dead doe and posed for a photograph with the deer was fined $400 and jailed for game violations.

Marcel Fournier, 19, shot the deer the evening of Nov. 22 and used lag bolts and epoxy to attach a 10-point rack, officials said. He then checked in the kill as lawful game at Barnie's Market.

It's illegal to kill an antlerless deer, and it's also illegal to hunt at night.

The Concord resident admitted to the killing and led a game warden to the deer's remains after an anonymous caller alerted authorities. Fournier said he had "quite a time" drilling and fastening the antlers, authorities said.

Game warden David Gregory said the antlers didn't look or feel right.

"When you grabbed them, you'd feel movement," he said.

Col. David LeCours, chief warden of the state Department of Fish and Wildlife, said the size of the antlers relative to the size of the deer seemed off.

"Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural," he said.

Fournier was sentenced to 10 days in jail Feb. 18 for taking a deer in a closed season. He won't qualify for a state hunting, fishing or trapping license for at least three years.

LeCours said add-on antlers are the stuff of legend, but that it's the first documented case of it in Vermont.


Second, well, uhm, you will understand.

33 year old woman treated at an emergency room in Texas for having a wine bottle "stuck" in her "nether region".  The victim has requested to remain anonymous, but was willing to give us an interview.  When posed with the question of how this happened, she responded:

"Well, me 'n my brother-in-law have always been kinda close, and my husband is outa town for the week and all, so we just thought it would be good fun to get together without achly cheatin'.  See, we thought the wine bottled be okay since it weren't achly fornication and all, but what we didn't think about was that suction it done in there.  Don't matter none though, that Doc, he did a good job and all.  They just done drilled a little hole in the bottom a that ol' bottle, and out it come!  Did feel a bit strange when they was drillin' it though."

We could not ask another question, as her husband came to pick her up from the hospital.  Yes, she had called him, and yes she had the "suspect" wine bottle in her hands.  Good Luck!

7 comments:

belladella March 16, 2009 at 10:08 AM  

Oh good lord.

Did you see the one about the secretary putting valium in her bosses coffee each morning bc she thought he needed to chill out?

thevinylvillage March 16, 2009 at 10:45 AM  

Ya know...I might have to start a fund for poor people to buy sex toys. Not a week passes where I dont hear another story of someone using something in ways not intended...

HalfAsstic.com March 16, 2009 at 12:17 PM  

OH. MY. GAWD. The wine bottle story takes the cake!
WHY, OH WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE FROM TEXAS? *sigh*

Lys March 16, 2009 at 12:24 PM  

*getting ideas from BellaDella's comment*

These two stories - especially the wine story - has me dyin' over here!

My Metabolic Rate is Stuck March 17, 2009 at 5:58 AM  

HEY...My neighbor SELLS Sex toys!
(It's called Pure Romance)
They even have a website, I think!
some people can do the STRANGEST things!

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