Tim

Okay, so now that I am older, I can reflect on things better (or simply forget about them all together!)

When it comes to Tim, there is an untold, never discussed story.  Let me change gears here for a second.....

So, being Gay is the only minority in which you go home to a family who is not that minority.  We are utterly alone in our youth.  It is also the only minority that still has legal discrimination regarding what we can and can not do or what others can or can not do to or for us.  Having said that, when I met Tim, I saw similarities to my own previous existence.

Tim and I both grew up in the midwest, and then both served our county at war time.  Tim was sent off to Vietnam to fight, kill and destroy.  Now, as gay men, we tend to console, revive and redecorate, so this is all backwards.  My point?  So, when it comes to feeding bodies to the death machine, gay men are not questioned.  In fact, they are pushed right on through.  It seems a matter of the beneficial approach when it comes to decisions about my people.  Oh, and this trend has gone on for the entire history of our country.

Anyway, I met Tim when I was just coming off the "Prove them all wrong" train.  I was under the illusion, that if I was a "Good Fag" that I could show people we had value.  Tim is the one who explained that wasting my life to live by the rules of others is no life at all.  

Tim went to Vietnam.  He had a "friend" there.  He saw horrors that should not, and can not be simply explained.  He sacrificed for the good of a country that did not even care enough to try to recognize his efforts.  Tim and I were connected by this ridiculous double standard.  The difference is that he had come to terms with it, and I was still fighting it.

Tim "brought me off the ledge" so to speak about what we were and where we had  been.  He taught me that the common person can never understand the extreme effort it took for us to do what we did.  He also made me aware that others understanding was not required to be proud of our own strength.  He gave me back my sanity and my humor.

Tim was not what I would call run of the mill.  He is himself and nothing else.  He is intelligent, emotionally strong, and well informed.  He lives his life, his way, and for that I am both proud and happy for him.

So, after all that, he is also a great story teller and tour guide.  When you get Jimmy, Naomi, Debbie and Tim all in the same room, you simply sit back and pay attention for hours!  These people have lived, and they shared their lives with each other, and they always will.  

One of the greatest emotions I can know is laughter through tears, and when ever we even speak we laugh so hard our eyes run!