Friday, November 28, 2008

Grandpa says...

So, Grandpa is a hell of a man. He lights up a room when he enters it. He has made it common practice to use humor to lighten any situation. So, whether you are offended or not, here are some of his lines.....(again, his humor is meant to lighten the mood, not point fingers at anyone)....

Grandpa said "Hey Predo, you know how to tell when you are getting old?" Of course, I have to take the bait "No Grandpa, how can you tell?" And so he tells me "Well, first of all, the best part of sex after 60 is snapping off the condom, just to see what you did! Second, when you sit down to use the bathroom, you can test the water temp with you nuts! Third, your penis, which used to stand up and watch you shave, just lays there to watch you tie your shoes!"

"You know, it's a good thing I married your Grandma when she was a virgin, because for 62 years, she thought I was hung! Had she seen anyone else, she would know I am only hung when compared to a squirrel!"

"When a woman makes just the right sound in bed, you know you are doing everything right! Of course, I have no idea what that sound is, but I have heard that it exists!"

"If you tap your penis more then three times after urinating, then you are just playing with yourself!"

"I had a blow job once. You Grandmother blew and blew, and after about a half hour, my dick had windburn so we gave up and had a sandwich instead!"

"You ever wonder why your poop is tapered on the end? So that your butt doesn't slam shut!"

"They say that men run the world, but if women run the bedroom and the check book, who is kidding who?

"Women create life. Men create crap."

"I don't understand the world of technology. Everyone is spending all this time and money to improve everything to high definition or whatever. They spend all this time to make the world look like it already does, but all they have to do is step outside to see it."

So, like Grandpa says, step outside and see the world.....

3 comments:

HalfAsstic.com November 28, 2008 at 10:16 PM  

Grandpa sounds like a wise old soul! Or is that a wise-ass old soul?! ;-)

big hair envy November 29, 2008 at 5:17 AM  

NOW I know where you got your clever wit:)

"Women create life. Men create crap." Bwahahahahaha!

Word verification: noids.....at least it wasn't rhoids!!!

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